Tuesday, June 1, 2010

To Know the Divine



I know a lot of stuff. I really do. I am an uber-nerd, so my brain is filled with all sorts of facts that are pretty much useless in everyday life. If I had time and money, I would spend the rest of my life going to universities to learn even more not-so-useful stuff. I'm just sick that way.

So, when I Jamie Ridler asked "What do you wish to know?" I had to really stop and think. I want to know physics and astronomy and Asian history and how to knit. However, the gift of the internet is that I could learn those things whenever I want, so I don't think they are quite wish worthy.

Of course, I always want to get to know myself better. That is a constant work in progress, but I feel pretty good about my progress in that regard. After months and months of working with my morning pages, I feel like I have a pretty clear picture of what is important to me, and I'm learning more and more about what triggers certain responses and all that wonderful crap. Since I'm making progress there, I'm not sure that is quite wish worthy ever.

The one place I feel stuck, what I don't know anymore, is the Divine. Now I've had a pretty rocky relationship with organized religion, but I have always believed in the Divine. Years ago, she and I had a pretty good relationship. I used to hike to this lake every morning - I used to call it the Church of Lower Lake - and I would feel her presence in every fiber of my being. I could be still and know, and not just know intellectually, but instinctively and physically.

(The Church of Lower Lake)

The great poet of the North, Robert Service, asked:

Have you seen God in his splendor
heard the text that nature renders?
(You'll never hear it in the family pew.)

I saw, I heard, I felt, and I knew. I had faith and I trusted.

Then I someone I loved died in a way that no one should ever die. He took with him my peace and my connection to the Divine. I still know she exists in my head, and I still have faith in her. I even talk to her from time to time, but I haven't felt her presence in almost eight years. I miss her. I want to know, to really know, to be still and KNOW that she is.

So what do I wish to know? I wish to know how to mend my tenuous relationship with the Divine, to know how to reconnect with her through spirit, to know how to be still again. I wish to know to hear her again. I think that is wish worthy.

So, what do you wish to know?

I wish you nothing but goodness as you learn life's lessons.

21 comments:

  1. As Stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her also :-)

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  2. As Stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

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  3. As Stephanies wishes for herself, I wish for her as well. I agree with you, your wish is very wish worthy.

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  4. As stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her. What a great wish!

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  5. Beautiful wish. As Stephanie wishes, so I wish for her also.

    That Church of the Lower Lake...wow...such beauty.

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  6. As Stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
    Learning life lessons..yes...have a great day.xo

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  8. As Stefanie wishes for herself, to know the divine again, so I wish for her also.
    May it be so.
    PS: I share your love of learning also, I could live in a library.

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  9. as stefanie wishes for herself, so i wish for her also...lovely wish

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  10. Knitting for me is a simple thing; it's the physics and astronomy and Asian history that would do me in :) Seriously though, I've struggled with the right religion for such a long time. I feel a divine presence though and for that I'm thankful.

    As you wish for yourself, I lovingly wish for you too.

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  11. As Stephanies wishes for herself, I wish for her as well.

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  12. As Stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. What a gorgeous photo and a beautiful setting for connecting with the Divine. It sounds like you are well on your way to reconnecting with what you desire. I find unplugging, walks in nature, art making, and journal keeping as great ways for tuning in.

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  13. You go Stephanie , get closer to the Devine and go hike to that beautiful lake to hang with the Devine and think she/he misses you. : P

    As Stephanie wishes for herself , I wish for her also . : P

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  14. Hiya, Stefanie - What a lovely wish. Death has rocked my connection with herself, as well, and it was indeed over years that I found my way back (and ultimately discovered that the divine is right smack inside of me, and was there all along). I am wishing you lots of divine goodness on your journey.

    As Stefanie wishes for herself, I wish for her also.

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  15. When we feel that God is no where to be found it is us who has turned our backs on Him/Her, God never leaves us we need simply turn towards God. "Never doubt in the darkness what God told you in the light." as you wish for yourself dear one I so lovingly wish for you also!

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  16. As Stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

    Oh Stepanie...what a beautiful with...how beautifully put. I am so sorry for your loss..I understand loss bringing a loss of belief in things..I really do. May you find your divine..may she come to you in quiet moments and touch your heart again!
    Namaste, Sarah

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  17. I have struggled with my faith, especially since the loss of my sister and father 18mos apart. However the universe will give you signs of the divine's presence. I always say to God, please don't give up on me, I haven't given up on you. I may question, but there is faith within me.
    As Stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish also.

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  18. Maybe stop wanting it, let it go and you'll feel the Divine presence again.
    And you know that it's not because you didn't feel it for years that you are "abandonned".

    As Stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

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  19. As Stefanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well.

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  20. definitely wish worthy.
    and as stephanie wishes for herself, so i wish for her also.

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  21. What a lovely wish!
    As Stephanie wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

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